Galahad and I Thought of Daisy Read online

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  FOREWORD

  I Thought of Daisy, first published in 1929 and written much under the influence of Proust and Joyce, was intended, like Ulysses and À la Recherche du Temps Perdu, to be a sort of symphonic arrangement. The main theme is of course the relationship between the narrator and Daisy. This narrator is supposed to be a typical example of the American intellectuals of the twenties, who is always attempting to formulate an attitude toward life in the United States, and Daisy the American reality, which is always eluding his grasp. By shifting the elements of the situation in each of the five sections, I aimed, in each one of these, to produce a different mood and to bring out a different point of view. In each of them except the third, the mood and the point of view were to have as their representatives, the personality of one of the characters, which would dominate the mind of the narrator and preside over the section as a whole. In the first, it is Hugo Bamman, with his revolt against bourgeois society and his social revolutionary ideas. In the second, it is Rita, the romantic poet. In the third, the narrator is adrift in the void, with no planet to gravitate about: the world in which he finds himself now appears to him anarchic and amoral, and the point of view is more or less materialistic, with an emphasis on animal behavior. Here the place of the interpolated character sketch that figures in the first, second and fourth sections is taken by the disquisition on literature regarded as a desperate effort to create an illusion that the world makes sense. In the fourth section, my hero recovers himself under the influence of the metaphysician Grosbeake, who instils into him a certain idealism and induces in him a certain serenity. In each of these states of mind, he has made a different image of Daisy, has tried to fit her into a different system; but in the fifth and final section, she herself becomes the dominant character. Since he effects a real union with her, there is here no interpolation—disquisition or character sketch—that sets off the point of view from the narrative and is not assimilated by it: Daisy simply tells about her own life. The point of view—or state of mind—here is instinctive, democratic, pragmatic. My hero has at last, for the moment, made connections with the common life. And just as this narrator is shown to slip from orbit to orbit of a series of planets, so Daisy is shown to pass from one to another of a series of partners, in each of whom she tries to believe. Phil Meissner, Ray Coleman, Pete Bird were intended as pygmy specimens of familiar American types.

  I Thought of Daisy is thus very schematic, and the scheme does not always succeed, for it is sometimes at odds with the story. In rereading the book for the first time since I wrote it, I have sometimes been rather appalled by the rigor with which I sacrificed to my plan of five symphonic movements what would normally have been the line of the story. There is no very full account of the narrator’s relations with Rita, though the reader must have been led to expect it—since, though Rita is more interesting than Daisy, her role had to be kept to proportions that would not prevent Daisy from playing the central role; nor could I, for similar reasons, allow her to be too sympathetic. Yet, in spite of this, she otherwise upsets the scheme by attracting too much attention when she appears in the opening section, which is supposed to be dominated by Hugo.

  Nothing annoys me more than to have the characters and incidents which figure in my works of fiction represented as descriptions of real people and events. In a study that is supposed to be scholarly, this is, of course, inexcusable, and no one would be guilty of it who had any grasp of the rules of scholarly evidence; but it is equally irritating to have facile guesses made at supposed originals. In the case of a still living writer, such guesses are something of an impertinence, and, besides not allowing for the freedom with which the writer of fiction may combine and transform and fantasticate suggestions from different sources, they are likely to be wide of the mark. The identification of these elements can hardly become desirable or feasible till after a writer’s death, when his letters and other papers and the memoirs of people who knew him have become accessible to the student. It has taken Mr. George D. Painter many years to disentangle the real circumstances which were laid under contribution by Marcel Proust to produce the creations of his novel, and even so his findings are questioned by persons with some independent knowledge of the people whom Proust knew. Though I sometimes, in I Thought of Daisy, used the sayings and traits of real people, the story is an invention from beginning to end. What has misled these amateur detectives is that the only two novels I have published are told in the first person. But Daisy, as I have said above, suffers not from sticking too closely to actual experience but to having been subjected to a preconceived scheme. So the narrator of my Memoirs of Hecate County was identified with myself not only by the representative of the District Attorney’s office who prosecuted the book in the courts and treated the narrative as a brazen confession, but also by reviewers who ought to have known better.

  The shorter story included here, Galahad, was written in the early twenties and first published, in 1927, in The American Caravan, a miscellany of current writing edited by Van Wyck Brooks, Lewis Mumford, Alfred Kreymborg and Paul Rosenfeld. It was suggested by an actual incident which reached me at second hand. The speeches at the Y.M.C.A. are more or less accurate reports of speeches I have heard myself. I very soon in my own prep-school days, came to think such performances funny or disgusting. An alumnus of this same school has told me lately that he once laughed out loud when one of the reformed bums who were supposed to put the fear of God into us declared that he had “first met Jesus in a box-car.” As a result, he was had on the carpet by the committee from the Sixth Form which was supposed to deal with cases of misconduct. The punishment decreed was his banishment from further Y.M.C.A. meetings, which were compulsory for everyone else. He was delighted. I wish this had happened to me.

  The intensive evangelism to which we were subjected at school was entirely the affair of the Headmaster’s wife, a very strong-minded woman, who was something of a religious fanatic, especially obsessed with sex. I am told that, after I left, she went so far as to show, for the benefit of the “bids” who took care of our rooms, a film designed to fortify them against temptation and to put them on their guard against rape—a fate of which I should say, from my memory of them, they stood in little danger. My impression is, in fact, that she had carefully screened these women with a view to having them as old and as unattractive as possible. But with her retirement, all this lapsed and vanished, and it had never very seriously disturbed the humanistic tradition represented by the excellent faculty. For the purposes of my story, I have called the school in question St. Matthew’s; but it has occurred to me since that a New England school—the real one was not in New England—which was named in this way for a saint would probably have been Episcopalian and not to that degree evangelistic. So we shall have to assume that, at some recent date in the history of this school, the conservative Headmaster had married an intemperate New England Calvinist. The trustees had not yet intervened. Our actual Headmaster’s wife was a product of New England Calvinism, which at the date of which I write was continuing to play a role in even the higher domains of American education. I found it behind even the institutions of gay and easy-going Princeton, though in a less aggressive form than I had known it at school. But I was never plagued again by this branch of religion in its evangelistic form. At Princeton, after all, Billy Sunday was not allowed on the campus, and Frank Buchman was banished from it.

  Both these stories are here presented in a very much revised form.

  1967

  GALAHAD

  I

  IT HAD JUST BEEN BROUGHT HOME to Hart Foster that he was probably certain of being elected to next year’s presidency of the Y.M.C.A. of St. Matthew’s School. The officers were always members of the Sixth Form, but when the Sixth Form secretary had been obliged to leave school, as the result of a mysterious nervous breakdown, Hart, who was still only a Fifth Former, had been asked to take his place. Tonight, before dinner, when he had mentioned to his room-mate that Boards Borden, the Sixth Form President, had invited him to visit him during the holidays, Eddie O’Brien had observed, as if with a chill of alienation: “Well, we’ll all have to reform next year when you’re President of the Y!” Hart had noted the change of tone, which already implied both the gulf between the layman and the consecrated priest and the inequality between the commoner and the heir to some position of prestige, and it had somewhat worried and distressed him. As he had dressed for the evening meeting, plastering his hair down glossily on each side, stretching his watch-chain with Y.M.C.A. tautness between the two lower pockets of the vest of his immaculate blue suit, he confronted the situation for the first time. The Fifth Form
was notoriously below standard in moral character: three Fifth Formers had recently been suspended for a nocturnal escapade to Boston, and almost a whole floor of the Fifth Form Flat had been deprived of their privileges—from going into town on Saturday to visiting after evening study hour—for having been caught smoking in their rooms. The only other member of the Fifth Form who had been as active in the Y as Hart had a stutter which would make it impossible for him to preside at the weekly meetings. But Hart wondered now whether he were really prepared to assume the responsibility of of the Y. He would enjoy this position of importance, but he doubted whether he possessed the qualifications for it. He would, he felt, make a good executive; and, from some points of view, a good speaker. But he was far better as a debater than as an inspirational orator: he felt more confident of his ability to achieve distinction in the big inter-school debate. When his room-mate had spoken with that edge of grimness, Hart had felt a little like a hypocrite. Did being President of the Y.M.C.A. mean denying the jovial roughhouse, the nonsense and bawdy jokes, of the Fifth Form Flat? Did it mean becoming like Boards Borden? His own temperament was severer and more restrained than that of most of his companions, but he thoroughly enjoyed their society and shrank from the prospect of being isolated from them. One of the great sports of the hour before lights-out when life so rapidly became heightened and riotous—as soldiers soon to return to the front make the most of their last hours of leave—was putting people under the bed. Could he continue to participate in such diversions if he were President of the Y.M.C.A.? Yes, he told himself, he certainly should: he would show them that he was still a good fellow. But would his presence discourage their fun? Would his former companions feel at liberty to put him under the bed? And would it be right for them to do so? Yet, without equality of privilege, the roughhouse game would be spoiled; the situation would become impossible. Hart wondered whether he really lacked faith: he knew himself to be capable of an earnest kind of moral enthusiasm, but he had noticed that, though he had prayed with the best masters, he had never seemed to catch their exaltation, and that Holman Hunt’s Light of the World, which was hung behind the platform in the Study Hall, had obstinately remained for him a beaconless symbol which never flashed its revelation.

  Tonight, therefore, at this most important of all Y.M.C.A. meetings, the last before the Christmas holidays, as he sat behind his desk on the platform, watching the room gradually filling and making accurate businesslike gestures in connection with the minute-book before him—his glowing cleanness, but lately issued from the shower, gilded richer by the powerful droplight which illuminated his desk—he felt an unaccustomed self-consciousness and, as it were, an imperfect harmony with the ritual at which he was officiating, such as, before his final realization that the mark of his call was upon him, had rarely caused him embarrassment. Where he had hitherto been able to enjoy the sensations that were the accompaniment of presiding at a Y meeting, the deeply gratifying sensations of a pure and well-washed consecration, of a competent noble maturity, which, though still on terms of admirable good-fellowship with the juvenile student body, bears the seal of having passed from among them to receive the Tables from Sinai, and smiles down upon them now for the moment with the cordiality, a little too ready, of the heroic Christian leader who is but the servant of all—though he had hitherto enjoyed these sensations, he seemed this evening to have partially lost contact with them. He tended to scrutinize and reflect on himself—even, before his own conscience, to judge.

  The meeting had been well advertized and the attendance was particularly good. In his belief that the Christmas holidays were a period of peculiar temptations, Mr. Hotchkiss, the patron saint of school and college Y.M.C.A.’s, who kept them all under supervision and was usually present on occasions of importance, had especially provided, to warn them against Vice, a professional reformed debauchee; and perhaps a third of the school had turned out in the eager, if apprehensive, hope of being treated to gamy details of this sinner’s abominable life. They swarmed along the rows of seats, with flurries of restrained rioting, in the hard electric light and the plain woodwork setting of the Study Hall; and, above them, in a plaster garland, were ranged the busts of the great men of antiquity—of Homer and Socrates and Plato, of Thucydides and Euripides, of Seneca and Virgil and Augustus.

  Boards Borden at last rang the bell and called the meeting to order.

  He was a tall square-shouldered youth, blond, handsome and without distinction, whose white collar stood so high that his neck seemed encased in a pipe and whose watch-chain and plastered hair followed the same convention as those of Hart. When he stood up to open the meeting, a vast solemnity paralyzed the audience—as if the barren robustness of his spirit had had the effect of making even emptier that great bare box of a room, as if the crude steady light of his zeal had been able to render even harsher that unshaded electric glare. It was apparently not merely his family name, but something in his appearance and character, which had earned him the nickname of Boards.

  First, Onward Christian Soldiers was sung with a certain amount of gusto, and then the President offered up a short prayer requesting divine support during the holidays. Then Hart read the minutes of the last meeting with creditable distinctness and gravity.

  Now Boards Borden stood up again and haltingly addressed the assembly. Hart reflected that, though he himself might perhaps somewhat lack inspiration, he would at least be able to speak more coherently.

  “Fellows, we have to talk to us tonight both Mr. Hotchkiss and Mr. Bergen. Mr. Hotchkiss hardly needs an introduction among St. Matthew’s fellows. His work among the schools and colleges is—well known throughout the country—and especially at St. Matthew’s—as is also his work in connection with China—with the missionary work in China. —And I want to say, by the way, in regard to this work, that the response we’ve been getting has been pretty disappointing. Now, fellows, we’re pretty lucky! We have about everything we want. And it seems to me that we ought to be able to spare a little more to help this work along. It seems to me that each of us ought to be able to spare something—for this work in China. The first meeting after the holidays is going to be especially devoted to the work in China, and I hope that we’ll make a better showing then than we have so far.—Mr. Hotchkiss will now speak to us, fellows.”

  Mr. Hotchkiss arose and came behind the lectern. He was a big broad-shouldered man with a florid solemn face and the sonorous fluent voice of a natural orator.

  “Fellows,” began Mr. Hotchkiss, “there are certain things that I want especially to speak to you about tonight. Next week, you will all be going home for your Christmas holidays. You are all very eager to get away from the restraints of school and to see your dear ones at home and to have a chance to play. Now that instinct to get away and play is a perfectly healthy and normal one. You have all heard the old saying: ‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.’ Well, that is perfectly true. Without the right amount of play—and the right sort of play—we should not be able to do our work or to be of service to God. Play then, for all you are worth! Play to your heart’s content. Go to the theater; go to dances; go sleigh-riding; go skating. Enjoy yourselves in every clean manly sport that the town or the country provides. But be sure that the amusements which you choose are clean and manly and wholesome. There will be other kinds of amusements that will not be so clean and not be so wholesome; and you will perhaps be tempted to indulge in them because you are no longer at school and because there is no one there to watch over you. In the carelessness and gaiety of the holidays, you will perhaps be tempted to forget yourselves; you will be tempted to drink a cocktail or to go with a loose woman; you will be tempted to abuse your body and your soul—perhaps to ruin them for ever—all for a moment of so-called pleasure. I believe that the Christmas vacation—which will begin for you next Wednesday—is the most dangerous period of the whole year!”

  The boys, who, for the most part, had found their vacation a harmless, though agreeable, experience, asked themselves how they had ever overlooked the peculiar snares with which it appeared to abound. It was no doubt by reason of their youth that they had so far managed to escape them; but they told themselves now that in the future they would be on the look-out for them. The younger and more timid boys were a little frightened by the news; it seemed to put such an ugly mask on the dear and looked-forward-to holidays, which had hitherto smiled from afar to them, with the joyousness of freedom and the kindness of their homes.